Conversations with the Boys

Taking a little detour today and rather than sharing about the journey I’ve been going through lately I want to share a little bit about my boys.  If you have not already read it – my Cast of Characters post will get you up to speed on the names I’ve given the boys for this blog and the reasons why. These boys make me want to bang my head against a wall and pull out the sparkles that they’ve put in my hair, however they are also a never ending stream of joy and laughter in my life.

I grew up in a family with just my little brother and me.  (A little brother who has always been bigger than me!)  When we were very young people thought we were twins and then later as we got older people would sometimes mistake him for being my boyfriend. He thought this was hilarious and would always play it up by throwing his arm around my shoulders, pulling in towards him and giving me a big ole kiss on the cheek.

Once my husband and I started having children I always wanted one of each – a boy and a girl, just like I had growing up in my family. My husband on the other hand comes from a family of four – three boys and one girl. He and his only sister are the middle children.  He always just wanted a daughter, so when we had our oldest (the Girl) he was absolutely thrilled and probably would have been happy if we had stopped there.  She never had a chance, she was going to be a Daddy’s Girl whether she wanted to be or not.

Three years later we had our eldest son, Drama Queen. Then less than two years later we had The Instigator.  He was a bit of an “oops” because my dear husband did not go in and get some things taken care of when he should have.  In fact, even after he waited another year.  I guess we are just lucky we don’t have four children.

But we can’t imagine our life without The Instigator now. He’s pretty much a miniature of my husband in a lot of ways with a little bit of OCD mixed in from me. Because the boys are close in size, I often get the question from people asking me if they are twins. While I do see a resemblance in them, I don’t see how anyone could mistake them for twins, let alone identical twins. But I have had people tell me that they can’t tell them apart before. I think my youngest looks more like the Girl than he does his brother. But then people perceive the world in different ways I guess.

One day when we were out at the store and I actually had a woman ask me if they were twins and when I answered with my standard, “No, they are almost 2 years apart but I get that a lot”, her response to me was “Are you sure?”

I really wish I was a lot faster with responses, but at the time I just kind of looked at her confused for a few seconds and then said, “Yes I’m sure.”  Later I’m wondering how someone could actually think that you would forget two separate labors. I’m thinking she’s never been through labor before or her doctor hooked her up with WAY better drugs than mine did for me!

Needless to say my boys are very close. They seem to fight about everything but they seem to not know what to do when the other one is not around. Until recently they even shared a bedroom and I would often find them crashed in the same bed together.

One thing that is always humorous is the conversations that my husband and I have overheard between these two boys. There’s some times where we should probably jump in and stop the conversations and if we were truly good parents we probably would. But I think I’ve already established that we are not good parents – and if I haven’t yet, just keep reading my blog and you’ll catch on soon enough.

They make it really hard. Sometimes it’s all we can do to not let them see us laughing at them. Because you don’t want to encourage them. It’s usually up to me to put on the straight “mom does not approve” face because my husband really freaking sucks at it. Usually I’m trying to get him to turn his back or walk into the other room so the boys don’t see him laughing.

So with that being said let me share with you just a couple of the conversations that go on between my boys. As a ploy to get you to follow me, I will also state that I’ll be sharing more in the future.  So now you HAVE to come back to read my posts from now until Infinity!

When the Instigator was younger he brought home some homework that included having to color a ladybug.  Now this child is NOT my creative, crafty child.  His idea of coloring is basically scribbling with one color (usually brown or orange) across the entire page until he figures he has enough color to make the teacher happy or he has put a hole in the paper.  He really is my most conscientious child when it comes to school – the one that I never have to check up on his grades – but when it comes to the artsy stuff, he really has no interest at all.

So he starts to color and this time is using two colors – red and black – because that is what his homework tells him he is supposed to use.  The Drama Queen comes over (because he just can’t stand to not be the center of attention and stick his nose into EVERYTHING!) and looks over the Instigator’s shoulder and proclaims, “It’s lying!  Most ladybugs are orange.  And some are gray!”

The Instigator (in his usual matter of fact manner) does not miss a beat as he replies, “Only if they are dead.”

A conversation overheard one day in our household

Drama Queen:  I’m going to be a race car driver when I grow up now instead of an undercover cop!

(Probably a good thing because Drama Queen would make a terrible undercover anything – he would be telling everyone that he was undercover!)

The Instigator: I’m going to be a fireman and I’m gonna spray fire on your race car!

(Apparently he believes that firemen actually start fires rather than put them out.  Or maybe that is just what his plans are for his career.)

Drama Queen:  No!  Firemen don’t spray fire on things!  They only start fires in their neighbor’s yards to save their own yards!

(I really don’t know where they get their information – honest!)

When in Kindergarten the Instigator would bring home a paper that told us parents what they had been learning each day so we could ask them about it.  It was just after Martin Luther King Jr Day and the paper told us the kids had learned about him that day and to ask them what they had learned.

The Instigator was playing the Wii at the time (he is a very serious gamer to this day) and the Drama Queen was sitting at the kitchen table doing crafts – probably gluing his fingers together or something – on purpose!

Me:  This says you learned about Martin Luther King Jr, today.  What did you learn about him?

The Instigator does not pause at all in his game.  Eyes never leaving the screen he states – “He died.”

Me: Okay, but why did he die?  What happened?

At this point the Drama Queen is squirming in his chair and I can tell he is going to burst at any moment.  He can’t stand to not be in every conversation and I think it actually physically hurts him to have to keep words in his head and not let them out his mouth.

The Instigator just keeps playing and the Drama Queen can’t help himself any longer – and yes, he did talk like this in 2nd grade.  He had a very large vocabulary at a very young age.

Drama Queen:  He was a civil rights person and he gave speeches about being equal and how to do it peacefully without fighting! And he…

At this point the Instigator takes a moment to look away from his game, meet his brother’s eyes and very pointedly say before turning back to his game,

“He died because he talked too much.”

For once that actually shut Drama Queen up for a few minutes!



5 thoughts on “Conversations with the Boys

  1. “No, they are almost 2 years apart but I get that a lot”, her response to me was “Are you sure?”


    (I really don’t know where they get their information – honest!)

    Fahrenheit 451?


  2. Loved reading about your kids. Kids are a never-ending source of great stories! I have 3 boys and 3 grandsons (no girls!) and a lot of stories to tell about them too! Why is the youngest always “The Instigator”? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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