The Drama Queen Sagas – Act I

Photo used with permission – Tyler F. Smith Photography

The last few weeks have been quite eventful.  I’m going to refer to it as The Drama Queen Sagas – Act I.  I’m sure there will be many acts to follow as long as he agrees to let me continue to share.  And yes, I did run this by him before sharing it with ya’ll.

Drama Queen, if you are not already up to speed, is my middle child and my oldest son.  He is almost 14 and thinks he is going on 30.  Lately, he’s come to the conclusion that he can say anything he wants as long as he adds “it’s a joke!”  I’ve been trying  to teach him the world does not work this way, but as is normal with teens, he feels he knows it all and mom is just stupid.  As a result he has recently had to learn this lesson the hard way.

On Friday a couple weeks ago, I received the dreaded phone call from my son’s Vice Principal to inform me he had been in a fight and was going to be suspended for a day.  The Vice Principal actually apologized for having to call me because he knows the Drama Queen and actually really likes him and knows he is a good kid.  However, in this case his hands were tied.  I understood completely.

I am constantly amazed how this child can be the most self centered, selfish and entitled child while also being my most compassionate, sweet and observant child.

After talking to the Vice Principal and later the Drama Queen the basics of the story came down to the Drama Queen running his mouth (as a joke, of course!) which ended up leading to a physical altercation.

So as much as I want to protect my son (he tends to be a target for bullies at times due to his small size, his big mouth and his tendency to give them the reaction they want), I knew this time he had to learn this lesson the hard way.  I was going to have to let him take the fall.

In our household this means manual labor.  What better way to make sure he had the entire weekend to contemplate his actions?  Our backyard has been severely neglected lately.  Add to that a couple weeks of rain and now we have a full grown white trash jungle of weeds taller than my head – a mighty 5’2″.

So Drama Queen spent a day with my other two minions cleaning house and then two days on this own clearing those weeds.  Then he spent an hour after school working on it after his suspension was over.

All would be good at this point except the Drama Queen then got sick.  Same respiratory crap I had a few weeks ago.  Hacking and phlegm galore!  So after only one day back at school, he was back home.  I started to worry and made an appointment to make sure it was not turning into something more serious.  My husband took him to the appointment and came home with the good news that he was not sick.  The Drama Queen has allergies.  Allergies to the grass and weeds we had him pulling as a punishment.  We almost killed our son!

Okay – maybe I’m being a bit dramatic here, but that was the mom guilt that set in.  Ugh!  Parenting sucks sometimes.

Later that night my husband shared more details regarding the doctor visit that day.  Our pediatrician has been with all our children since they were only days old.  He has a great sense of humor and the kids love him.  And I can only imagine what stories he tells his wife each night.  Here is the story my husband relayed to me.

Doctor:  I am going to give you an inhaler that contains a steroid to help with your allergies.

Drama Queen:  Yes!! (combined with a fist pump in the air)

Background – Drama Queen is small for his age.   At almost 14 and going into High School next year, he is still just shy of 4’11” and only about 87 lbs.  He often is mistaken for a 6th grader.  Plus for wrestling in High School the lowest weight class is 106lbs which means he wants to bulk up before next year so he is not at such a disadvantage

Doctor:  No, it is not that kind of steroid.

Drama Queen:  Will it cause issues….down there?

Doctor:  You mean will it shrink your penis?

Drama Queen: (Nods his head slowly)

Doctor:  No, it is not that kind of steroid.

Drama Queen: Whew!!

I don’t know how the Doctor keeps a straight face.  My husband said he was dying laughing.  And it made me laugh too.  Typical Drama Queen scenario.  And it made this mama feel better.  I may have inadvertently tried to kill off my offspring, but he was already bouncing back fast – in typical Drama Queen fashion.