Patience is not one of my virtues. Not that I really think I have a list of virtues, but if I did patience would not even make the cut.
I believe in prayer. I think it is good for us and God answers prayers. Especially if we are trying to better ourselves. However, I’ve always been afraid to pray for patience. Even though I’ve had MANY situations where it was warranted. I hesitate though because I’ve come to realize God tends to give me things via life experiences. He is not a fairy godmother who waves a wand and bestows upon me a calm and beatific inner core of patience.
Nope! He is like a parent who helps you learn something through practice. By going through an experience that requires you to put that virtue to practice and lean on Him to get through it.
So I’ve not prayed for patience because quite frankly it scares the crap out of me to imagine what that might entail.
Prayer or not though – He has decided it is time for me to learn patience. Oh yeah me!!
I have a situation in my life right now where I can see the light, the solution at the end. I can taste it! And in the past this has always come easy for me. Pretty much, the solution to this type of situation has just dropped into my lap. So not only am I learning patience, my past experiences have left me with very unrealistic expectations.
Overall though, I think I’m doing a fairly good job learning this new trick given my past experiences. Normally all this waiting and uncertainty would have me acting like a total basket case. So in my mind I think I’ve learned the lesson and have it down really good now. I think it is time to move on, move forward. Bring on the solution! Patience – I’ve got it! I understand! It’s in the bag! Now just give me my prize I’ve been waiting on already!
So . . . maybe, just maybe . . . I don’t quite get it yet. Patience is hard and it sucks sometimes! Now I guess I should go back to my breathing exercises and try not to squirm so much as I wait here PATIENTLY!
P.S. In my defense – it is hard to teach an old dog new tricks. Have you heard that one before, God? It’s true! I’m living proof.