False Guilt

Funny how things all of a sudden one day become more clear to us.   Although they still may not be clear enough for us to fully see the big picture.  Or maybe they are that clear, but we still can’t totally change the picture to be what we know it should be.

Excuse me, I’m rambling.  My point of this is that it has recently become clear to me that I live with a lot of false guilt.  To the point where I often have a hard time working through to figure out what is legitimate guilt and what is false guilt.

What do I mean by false guilt you may ask? (Some of you know EXACTLY what I am talking about though.)  I tend to take on feelings of guilt any time I do or say something that may make someone else feel bad, may hurt their feelings or may inconvenience them.

It is really unhealthy.  In addition to adding a lot of unnecessary stress and anxiety to my life, it also causes me to take on too much and to burn myself out because I don’t say No.  I burn out physically, mentally and emotionally. Continue reading “False Guilt”

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Brain Types – Do we change?

I love taking personality tests.  I don’t know why – something inside of me is just wired to find these things absolutely fascinating.  Maybe that means I like to put people in a box – but in reality I think it is more my desire to understand others, try to see things from their perspective and understand why people (including myself) are the way they are.

So recently I stumbled across something called Project Evo – it is basically a couple of guys who have come up with this thing called Brain Type Theory and have designed a planner around your “type”.  (I’m WAY simplifying this so check it out yourself if this interests you – click HERE)  Your brain type is tied to how you organize information in your brain.  The goal is to identify how your brain works so you can better find success and happiness in your life. Continue reading “Brain Types – Do we change?”

Alaskan Cruises and Life Realizations

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Hubby and I on our Ketchikan excursion.  We got to drive Jeep Wranglers down Jeep trails and then paddle with 16 other people in a native canoe across a beautiful lake where we then enjoyed clam chowder, salmon and a beautiful nature hike.

My husband and I recently disconnected from the rest of the world for a week while we took a cruise to Alaska.  It was our first ever cruise and our first time to Alaska.  It was by far the BEST vacation I have ever taken!  And I fell in love with Sitka, Alaska.  If my hubby was to ask me to drop everything and move there right now – I seriously think I would.  Continue reading “Alaskan Cruises and Life Realizations”

Why I Write

I was recently asked why I want to write. I thought long and hard about this question and my answer is – to FLY.

I want to write so I can soar over this world, this life that in so many ways has become mundane and stagnant. As a child I dreamed of being an adult one day and how amazing, beautiful and magical it would be. Now I’m living in the reality of adulthood and frankly, it Sucks. I want the dream back.

Not the material dream of making a career out of my writing and being financially secure – although that would be awesome. As a child dreaming of adulthood – I was not focused on practicalities such as this. My dream was of living a magical life doing what I loved. Following my passion. For me pursuing a career in Finance and Accounting or even Business, was NOT the dream, NOT my passion and definitely NOT magical.

As a child I would get lost in the worlds of the books I read and I wanted to do what those authors did. To create worlds and characters that would magically transport the reader to a new place. A place where anything could happen. I still want to do that.

Some may say I must face reality and my childhood dreams are not reality. That we all grow up to realize the world is not full of the magic we imagined as a child. Well, I call Bullshit! I want to create magic of my own that will transport people, make them smile, make them laugh, make them cry. I still believe in magic and I believe in creating it myself. I want to FLY and bring along others for the ride!

This Mom’s Crazy Life

I’ve been MIA for a bit.  Dealing with normal busy mom stuff and some health issues.  I posted briefly before about my scare a couple weeks ago.  I felt kind of silly afterwards, but at the time it really freaked me out when the advice nurse told me to go to the ER for a possible heart attack.  I am glad I went though to rule it out.  And it made me re-examine some things in my life (but more on that in a bit).  The meds the doctor gave me did not end up working – I found this out while on a road trip with The Girl.  Lucky for us, she is old enough to drive and is a very good driver.  She ended up chauffeuring me across two states and back over a period of 4 days.

The doctor had thought it was a really bad case of heartburn – I had NO idea heartburn could be so bad it felt like a heart attack.  But then I have only had heartburn one other time in my life – that is when I was pregnant with The Girl.  However, I still had episodes as I called them daily on my trip while on the meds and then when I got back I had an episode that lasted 2 days straight –  so we ruled out bad heartburn. Continue reading “This Mom’s Crazy Life”

6 Word Prompts – July 20th

A big thank you to Jo from A Creative PTSD Gal for creating the 6 word story prompts for July. If you’ve been following along, I’ve decided to pair my 6 word prompts with a picture each day. I’m loving this exercise! To see her original post with the full list for July – click HERE.

Today’s Prompt – DARK

This goes along with my life right now. It is time to face the dark, face my fears, face my insecurities, and face the uncertainty of life so I can find the light that I’ve been looking for. I’m realizing I won’t find it if I don’t go on a journey through the dark to find it.

Last Night’s Scare

She woke up feeling pain in her chest. Like a vice exerting a steady pressure across her sternum and ribs. No shooting pains, just the steady pressure making it hard to move or breath.

She had gone to bed with a slight tightening in her back, between her shoulder blades. That was nothing unusual. She worked at a desk all day performing highly demanding tasks and it was normal for her to carry her stress in her back and into her dreams at night. But this tightness in her chest was new. Continue reading “Last Night’s Scare”